Alot of things has been going on with me when it comes to cosplay. I feel I have lack of resources and have nothing really to push me forward to become a better cosplayer. I feel very lost now since the cosplays I'm trying to do is not going well at all. I have dreams on walking-on stage and winning an award for a costume I've done. But everytime I look at my work, I realize that I'm too far below than a novice standard in a masquerade show. I know that conventions look at your costumes inside and out. The details on my costumes are not accurate at all. I see loose threads, poorly cut patterns, uneven stitching, and even sizing being either too big or too small. I constantly see how many mistakes I've done and always try to repair them probably 6 or 7 times. My recent costume (MakubeX) took me 3 tries to do and it's only a simple sweatshirt. It feels so depressing to realize that. I've been working on cosplays since 2006 and 2 years later, I'm still stuck with 5 costumes. I'm supposed to be at number 10. I'm sick of recycling the same costumes over and over again for the same conventions from the previous. I want something new, fresh. I don't know if I want to continue after Anime Central this year because what's been going on right now. I wish there's someone out there who can let me go over to their house or to my house over the weekend and help me on these costumes I've been trying so hard to make. My confidence has dropped and my motivation to cosplay has been decreasing more and more. I love to cosplay and it's my passion. But it's heartbreaking to realize I don't know how to make it to the top. It hurts. After this convention, I will be in a crossroads of continuing to cosplay or walk away.
